Websites supposedly offering FREE books

Let it be known that I have no sympathy for people who deliberately attempt to download free books from dubious websites, while suspecting they are allegedly stolen, and download a virus. In fact, I hope you do download a virus. Perhaps you might realise that you should have paid the dollar or two instead of being complicit in the theft of intellectual rights and copyrighted material. Anybody who does this is only supporting these illegal enterprises, so probably deserve whatever badness they get.

Strange book titles

Strange book titles:
Experiments on the spoilage of tomato ketchup
Old age, its cause and prevention
People who don’t know they’re dead
Cheese rolling in Gloucester
How to survive a robot uprising
Teleportation - a how-to guide
Natural bust enlargement with total mind power
Teach your wife to be a widow
How to poo on a date: the lover’s guide to toilet etiquette
Wildlife contraception

Malapropisms

Malapropisms are the misuse of words, usually due to substituting words that resemble the ones that should have been used. The word itself derives from the character Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan’s ‘The Rivals’. Other people have produced similar word errors, and have called this by their own name. Some English exams use malapropisms that need correcting.
Example: "Did you read the epithet on late Mr Greenses headstone." Should be "Did you read the epitaph on late Mr Green’s headstone?"
Or: "The allusion caused by the mural was extraordinary." Should be "The illusion caused by the mirage was extraordinary."

The Goons - and an MP

Anyone want to substitute Eccles’ name in the Goon show?
Eccles: I resign! You speak to my secretary! You can't talk to a government minister like that! I won't be out of work long, you'll see! I'll get that Ministry of Fisheries job! You watch! I've kept goldfish!
Mr. Eccles, we are not for one moment doubting your sincerity. It's just your intelligence that's in question.
Eccles: Well, I accept your apology.

Incredibly Incredible

Use of incredible or incredulous can sometimes be confused.
Incredulous shows disbelief, as in: his explanation left her with an incredulous look on her face.
Incredible properly means unbelievable, as in: he gave an incredible alibi. However, it can also be used as an adjective with the meaning of wonderful, as in: the meal was incredible.
His incredibly incredible story left them looking incredulous? 

Divers and Diverse

Old documents always use the word ‘divers’, which is still sometimes used instead of ‘diverse’. However, they do have different meanings. Divers means several of, or a certain number of, whereas diverse means of different natures. So, we might say ‘the navy contains diverse ships’, meaning they have aircraft carriers, destroyers, battleships and cruisers. To say: ‘the man had diverse children’ infers several sexes, or they were all different in some way, but ‘the man had divers children’ would mean he had a large family. Who still uses ‘divers’ in this way? At least you now know what is meant in old documents rather than believing they had people who could swim underwater for long periods.

Movies you would change?

Do you feel that a scene in some movies ruin the effect? Some movies seem to be made up of ‘blocks’, one of which always deters one from viewing the movie again. For instance, National Treasure 2, where Nicholas Cage does his usual overacting in the ridiculous and embarrassing scene in Buckingham Palace. Yes, he has to be arrested, but anyone would normally be taken straight away, I would have thought. The later scene of running a red light to get a picture of the wood block is unbelievable in that they download a copy immediately, and it is clear and does not pixilate when zoomed. Annoying and distracting effects include the recent need to move the camera in circles around a talking pair, or shaking the camera to give ‘immediacy’. Years ago, the camera was not allowed to become noticeable. Now, they just don’t care. At least the music has improved unless it overpowers any speech, yet they still insist on loud ‘da-da-da’ full orchestra in horror and thriller movies whenever anybody opens a door or cupboard, even if nothing happens. Man on Fire would probably be good, but the camera work just makes me dizzy and is unwatchable. All in all, this leaves few ‘perfect’ movies.